It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single politician in possession of good polling must be in want of an election.
Similarly, politicians lacking public support are wary of the electoral meatgrinder that awaits them. Unfortunately, when politicians try to course correct and avoid misfortune, they risk exposing both their pride and their prejudice.
For just these past few weeks, two petty dramas have unfolded that would strike even Jane Austen as unrealistic.
The first drama began when New Zealand First released emails to the press without first consulting the Prime Minister’s office. They showed that Luxon wanted to support the US-Iran war but declined such a move when Winston Peters’ Foreign Office objected.
New Zealand First initially denied any wrongdoing but ultimately categorised the release as a “process mistake.”
National declared the release grave indeed and put forward a portentous warning. Like Austen’s Lydia Bennet, who foolishly ran away with a disreputable man and endangered the hard-fought position of the Bennet family, New Zealand First might abscond into the arms of the Opposition come election time.
For now, New Zealand First, with its independent disposition and an inclination to read coalition agreements as binding chiefly on others, appears less like Lydia and more like Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Austen's imperious grande dame.
And National, for their part, plays the role of Mr Darcy: well-resourced, cheekily boastful, and aghast at an electorate ungrateful for the privilege of its attention.
Labour may laugh at this coalition in distress. But like Mrs Bennet, who delights in the misfortunes of marriages better than her own, Labour has discovered its own Lydia problem. I speak of our second drama: Toaster-gate.
A former Labour staffer was caught posting memes of Luxon and Minister Willis popping out of a toaster, as well as out of other things too salacious to mention.
Originally, Labour denied any connection to the staffer’s anonymous account. However, the toaster was identified as residing in the Opposition wing of Parliament. Labour eventually admitted to having hired the runaway meme lord.
The electorate, being the only one with a modicum of sense and sensibility, is akin to Austen’s anti-hero Elizabeth Bennet. After many mediocre marriage proposals, the public has long since learned to distinguish the parties whose pride invites correction from the parties whose pride invites only more pride.
Since our parties are of the latter sort, polling indicates a tight race between the Coalition and the Opposition.
Elections seem but a quick succession of busy nothings.