Governments do not care about the people more than the people care about themselves. People suffering under communism learnt this the hard way. But even in seemingly liberal countries government often works against people’s best interests.

In Western Australia, self-made spud king Tony Galati is in boiling water with the justice system. His crime? Growing too many potatoes.

Imagine the extent of the damage he could do if not stopped at once. If Galati floods the potato market it might, wait for it, bring potato prices down. With terrible consequences.

Fast food outlets would up-size their servings of fries. And then? Their customers might abandon their healthy lifestyles, buy bucket loads of spuds and impose gargantuan costs on the health system.

Western Australia courts cannot pay a blind eye to such felony. Long jail sentences for serial potato growers are the least they deserve.

And why stop the regulations with supply? The state ought to ration demand for this golden staple. People who exceed their maximum consumption of the evil tuber should be prosecuted mercilessly.

They should also issue travel warnings to Western Australia: Do not carry more than 50 kg of potatoes on your person. Why? Because the Potato Marketing Corporation has the power to stop and search your vehicle if they suspect you to be smuggling one too many potatoes. And they can impound illegal potatoes.

These are no fibs, by the way. This regulator has been in operation for 70 years under the Marketing of Potatoes Act 1946. It is the greatest addition to legal history since Magna Carta.

If you think the Western Australian potato regime has a whiff of the Soviet Union about it, then you are right. Except at least in Russia, they have always been good at turning potatoes into vodka. Which is the best way to tolerate the idiocies of socialist planning.

So in keeping with the Soviet inspiration, the WA potato police should demand Galati turn his excess harvest into vodka.

But don’t ship too much of it to us in New Zealand. On this side of the Tasman, you might otherwise run into trouble with our zealous police friends who like to meddle with alcohol sales.

Nasdarovje to that!