Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy fans know the dangers of having a sense of proportion. Appreciating our own insignificance relative to the infinity of creation is fatal.

But would it really kill us to have a better sense of proportion about other things?

It is currently fashionable to worry about datacentres’ water use and pester people about the water-cost of their AI queries.

Datagrid’s new datacentre in Southland has permission to take up to 220 million litres of groundwater per year. It does not expect to use nearly that much. Southland has a cool climate, and rooftop rainwater collection could suffice. But on a hot day, if the rooftop tanks are empty, it could need up to 7 litres per second. That rate, for every second of the year, would mean ‘up to 220 million litres per year’.

But suppose it really did take the full 220 million litres. Would that be a big number? Let’s get some perspective.

The Wanaka Golf Club recently had consent to take up to 126 million litres of water per year. The Hastings Golf Club could take almost 15 million litres per week.

So the datacentre’s maximum water take is higher than some golf courses and much lower than others.

Splash Planet waterpark in Hastings has had consent for up to 125 million litres, and a single 40-hectare vineyard at Bridge Pa has had consent to take up to about 128 million litres: so roughly two waterparks or two vineyards to the datacentre.

Wowsers could have a new reason to bother people: do you know how many litres of irrigation it took to produce the bottle you’re drinking?

Drinking is bad but eating is worse. The datacentre’s maximum water use is still much lower than that of a meatworks. It’s also about a quarter of the average Canterbury irrigation consent. Irrigation consents in Canterbury would be enough for more than 20,000 datacentres. 

Going vegetarian will not wash you clean. The water consent for the Heinz-Watties plant in Hawke’s Bay has been big enough for about 40 datacentres. And a single apple orchard in Hawke's Bay has had consent to take more than 2 datacentres’ worth.

In The Hitchhiker’s Guide, the Total Perspective Vortex, which lets you see your own insignificance, was fatal.

A little perspective on water use would only risk some scolds’ sense of self-satisfaction.