As it turns out, a side of bacon with your breakfast could prove a deadly gamble with your health. You may as well take up smoking, sunbathe excessively, or inhale asbestos.

A study released by the World Health Organisation made international headlines last month, with processed meats like bacon, sausages, and ham officially classified as carcinogenic to humans.

The news was met with horror by brunch enthusiasts the world over.

But forget treating yourself to a lean cut of minimally-processed, New Zealand-raised, prime-export-quality beef and lamb. The same study also found that fresh red meat contains small amounts of glyphosate. An active ingredient in many weed killers.

Thank goodness then for eggs, a valuable source of protein, selenium, iron and zinc and other beneficial nutrients.

Not so fast! The deceptively innocent-looking foodstuff is basically a heart attack in a shell. According to a study conducted at The University of Sydney, the cholesterol-rich egg yolk could mean consuming more than six to seven eggs a week puts you in harm’s way. The risks are especially high for those with a family history of cardiovascular disease.

What about butter, yoghurt and cheese? Two to three servings per day was the recommended daily intake routinely endorsed in primary school. But some studies warn that that little pottle of yoghurt could be a Trojan horse full of saturated fats, increasing your cholesterol to such perilous levels that you suffer a heart attack.

Surely milk with your morning muesli is harmless? Except that most milk nowadays is pasteurised. Advocates of the raw food trend claim pasteurisation damages the useful nutrients in milk, including proteins that help protect against eczema and asthma. These same activists conveniently ignore that the pasteurisation process also kills the microbes that cause tuberculosis, salmonella, brucellosis and E Coli.

Besides, if milk does not kill you, the wheat products in your wholegrain-organic-vegan-sugar-free muesli certainly will. Apparently, wheat-based foods trigger a type of inflammation that increase the risk of developing serious conditions like Alzheimer’s.

Best just to stick to black coffee. Oh drat, turns out there are a host of other studies linking daily consumption of that espresso to depression, anxiety disorders and heart disease.

Following the deluge of health reports publicised by the media is enough to drive you into an early grave. Perhaps it is best just to apply the age old saying; moderation in all things, except moderation.