In the cult TV comedy Arrested Development, a character called Tobias Funke starts a folk band called “Dr Tobias Funke’s 100% good-time family band solution.” He and his family travel to medical conferences singing folk tunes persuading people to buy a lifestyle drug produced by a big pharma called Teamocil. Unfortunately, the sense of wellness in relationships created by Teamocil turns out to be the first sign of complete pituitary shutdown.

Teamocil seems a lot like the sort of economic prescription that another doctor, Russell Norman, has been peddling in Parliament this week, with his bill to ban foreigners from owning ‘sensitive land’ in New Zealand. It might look good and induce a sense of wellbeing for people concerned that ‘foreigners’ are taking over, but it would be the first step in a very serious and a very rapid reduction in living standards.

For a start, the category of ‘sensitive land’ as defined in the Overseas Investment Act is anything but. More than five hectares of rural land and 0.4 ha of any land near water are considered ‘sensitive’. Under this definition, many waterfront developments and hotels cannot be foreign owned. Similarly, any decent sized manufacturing site would automatically be considered ‘sensitive’ and cannot be foreign owned. And obviously farming or horticultural operations would be verboten for those from  over the water. The ramifications are enormous.

For all of New Zealand’s very short history, we have relied on foreign capital and investment to help drive growth and create industries and jobs. Under Dr Norman’s scheme, however, the New Zealand Company would never have existed.

Either Dr Norman does not realise any of this or does not think it a problem. Either way, it represents an act of economic vandalism, cynically pandering to fears about ‘foreign owners’ while garnering votes. It is important to remember that despite noble rhetoric the Green Party is just as cynical as any other party in Parliament.

Very much like Dr Funke’s 100% natural good-time family band solution, Dr Norman’s 100% natural New Zealand-owned land solution has a folksy and homespun, if rather flaky, charm. But like Teamocil, it will go a long way in shutting down New Zealand in the long term.